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Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Blue Christmas

Until it is New Years Day, it is Christmastime.
I use this time for me. It's time to sit among your tree and your lights while eating Xmas treats. I get a whole week and a half off from work!
But, this year...
I chose the Sheryl Crow version. I have very little appreciation for songs with such a slow tempo. I guess I found this cover to be the most palatable.
Dad is sick again. On Friday, December the 25th, just as our Christmas festivities were settling down, my mom told me to put a blanket on dad. He was sitting on the couch next to the fireplace, various family members nearby. He suddenly wasn't feeling well, and he looked pretty chilly.
That was all I needed to see to know what was happening. I just knew it wasn't good. I flashed back to the last time he had a fever and hopped my ass right on to the worst case scenario: hospitalization; surgery.
There's a window
On Sunday morning, I received a text from my sister. Mom was taking Dad to the hospital, just as I was fearing. Around the early 00's, dad had some heart valves replaced due to a birth defect. Then another round of replacements during my meltdown of 2013. So, ya know; it's serious.
My family says to be positive, and for them I'll go with that. But when things happen, I always expect the worst. The past is a good prediction of the future.
It finally snowed yesterday.
It is now Wednesday. I haven't gotten a damn thing done this week, I feel like I'm doing half of everything on my to-do list before going out or sitting on the couch. I had barely started my chores for the day before my phone rang. My sister informed me that dad needed surgery. Of course, I already knew that. We'll be Boston bound soon.
So I'm blue. I had been considering attempting a little New Years party in my little apartment. Now, not so much. Cuz I'll have a blue, blue Christmas.
Tiny, little Xmas tree
Here's a holiday jam that I've been crooning to myself.
River by Joni Mitchell. It's so beautiful and sad af.


  1. I'm so sorry, feeling blue with you this season. My dad has Parkinson's and this Christmas they changed the diagnosis to include Lewis Body Dementia. We love our Daddies.

  2. That really sucks! I hope everything goes well and he has a speedy recovery from surgery.