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Tuesday, October 1, 2013

My Story behind the Blog, part 1

Sometimes, I get angry. You wouldn't like me, when I'm angry.
Well, you might; because then I'll look fierce like this:

Yes. We are dealing with a badass over here.
Over the weekend, I found myself feeling kinda rage-y. I thought I'd put together a few outfits to reflect that. something that looked more like the younger, edgier me. I've been showing off my quirkier, creative gear, but on Saturday; I was in no mood for retro prints and apple necklaces. I changed clothes, and I tried out a new background. I took a few pictures outside in my parking lot.

Now, I've been wanting to do that for a while, but something has held me back: the unbelievable true tale of why my parking lot is not a safe place for me...
Betrayal! Heartbreak! The Twisted True Story
Part 1: Prologue
I grew up in a great home with loving parents. I was fortunate to have led a relatively tame life, mostly free of conflict and turmoil. I never thought I'd be dealing with a situation like the one I'm in, let alone at my age. There's a bully in my apartment building.
My story is long and strange. In fact, it begins many years ago, when I was 19 years old. That's when I started dating John. My best girlfriend had just moved to another state, my other bestie; in college. He came around at just the right time, and together I had just what I needed. John was kind, talented, and we had a great relationship. Now, strange as it may sound; at the time I loved wrestling.Not only did John love wrestling, he and his 18 year old buddies had their own backyard wrestling promotion. Having a theater background and a love for DIY, I was instantly enthralled by the zero-budget show known as WAW that they put on. I was soon involved, playing Commissioner Moody Starr.
2004 publicity photo of me as Ms Moody Starr
 Fast forward to the next ten years:  WAW became a well-oiled local success, with John, myself, and our close friends helping to keep it going. At the age of 24, I started attending college, living at home with my parents as I commuted to Southern NH University on my quest to be a teacher.. Soon John (then, a high school drop out) followed suit and got his GED in order to go to school for broadcasting.

John and I at a WAW show, 2008

Attending a party, 2006
John was an incredible person. He was loyal, brave, smart, and hilarious. He soon had a job working for WGIR Rock 101 as an actual radio DJ, using his Greek birth name, Ioanis. I was so proud of him. John was named "CEO" of WAW and he was the best at keeping that show running. And nobody on that rag tag roster of social misfits got away with bullshit. John was an expert at conflict resolution and he always had the right answers. His character "Dirty Dealer" was a huge comedic presence. Behind the scenes, he was most valuable. I remember this one time, we were holding one of our training and meeting days and two punk looking kids came to the door looking for Puma, one of our often troubled performers, who did not want to face them. They where looking for money allegedly owed to them, and John just put on his confident, grown up voice and said, "look, Puma's on my time now." Seriously, the guys were all, "OK, no disrespect, Dealer!"
Where was I? long-winded storytelling. Here's some more outfit pics:

Eventually, we both graduated college and where living in a downtown apartment in a building owned by my mom's best friend. I got a long term substitute teaching job in first grade!

It was 2010 and I was 30 years old. Everything was going right. But, something was amiss. I had this strange, panicky feeling like I had spent so long lingering in my youth that I was unprepared for adulthood. I felt like I didn't even know myself. After 11 years, I broke up with John. He moved out.
It was a strange time. I was in my first teaching job, spending all my energy there. I was grabbed up on the rebound and had an unofficial, tumultuous thing with one of the wrestlers. I was confused and John was crushed.
I wanted to stay on good terms with John and tried my best to make that happen. John was angry, hurt, and left lonely thanks to me--but he didn't hold it against me as a person. We fought and cried, and there were some uncomfortable scenes. But, we never hated each other. We chatted on Facebook chat almost every day. We continued working in WAW together.

In ring promo pic, 2011
Eventually, John took a less active role in WAW, and began shifting power to another performer. He started doing amateur comedy nights and it seemed like he was doing well. I supported him as much as I could, attending shows during school vacations (they were always on weeknights). Seeing John was sometimes bittersweet, but it was never weird. I had the utmost respect for him and even though we were no longer a couple I figured I would always have love in my heart for him. In the fall of 2012, he moved into an apartment just a few buildings down from me and we were neighbors! I remember making him a DIY wall art thing as an apartment-warming gift that Christmas.
To be continued; the sad part is coming up and you'll finally learn why it's not safe for me outside my building.
Sweater: TJ Maxx $7.99, Shorts: Marshalls $10, Necklace: Forever 21 $5 (a whole outfit bought new!)

Top: Charlotte Russe (cheap), skirt: Goodwill $3.99, shoes: Savers $4.99 (with glitter and Mod Podge)

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